TWhat’s that like for my son or daughter? Does this mean I’m a failure as a parent if I consider therapy? What’s that like for me if I’m a teenager? Does this mean I’m ‘broken’? Life keeps moving fast and changes keep happening. They say to keep doing things the same way and expecting a different result won’t work so if that’s right, things won’t change on their own.
If any of these thoughts have bounced around in your head, then you’re normal. Trying something new is a change, and an adjustment. Humans are ‘creatures of habit’ and they like predictability so if you’re willing to lean into something new, that takes strength.
As a Parent
You want what’s best for your kids. But life got challenging. Their parents’ relationship changed, their friends changed, maybe a challenging diagnosis showed up along the way, whatever the circumstance, they aren’t the same happy kid they used to be.
Parenting is hard and there is no manual. The world is so different for them than it was for us. The way our parents parented us may not work in this generation. Teens are maturing at much faster rates and they are exposed to so many worldly influences despite efforts that parents try to control. Sexuality, academic expectations, fitting in socially, media influences, politics, competition, it’s all so hard.
As a Teen
You want to ‘fit in’ and be successful. That’s normal. But body types and looks are different and everyone grows up at their own pace, ‘thank you very much genetics!” When parents have their own challenges, it compounds the everyday stress that’s hard enough. Grades, popularity, friendships, internet drama, it’s a lot. No end in sight. Mom and/or Dad understand what it was like for them growing up, but a lot has changed since their generation.
It Helps To Have Someone To Talk To Who Is Experienced And Has Skills That Can Help Cope
Talking things out with someone who is safe, impartial, and knowledgeable about healthy coping behaviors can make all the difference. A good therapist wants to know what it’s like for you, specifically, in your world, respecting what you’re going through.
There are things we can do to get our power back and be able to question some of the negative things we tell ourselves.
Will Everything I Say Get Back To My Parent(s)?
A teen therapist has an obligation to protect privacy and confidentiality. While teens who are under 18 are considered minors and must have parental support for decisions, therapy is a ‘safe space’ for teens to be able to be free to express themselves. That being said, only in situations where hurting themselves or others is a concern, is a therapist bound to step outside of confidentiality and must include parents. This is a legal requirement. Therapists often explore and encourage ways to communicate difficult things and do not go ‘behind the teens back’.
No Long-term Commitment is Needed.
It’s important to feel the client feels the therapist can relate to them and if it isn’t a good fit, they are encouraged to find a better fit. Not every glove fits every hand, and you can ‘try it out’ to see the benefits. It’s also important to know that the discussions will center around what the teen feels they need support with, their sense of control for the process is respected and input is valued.
You are strong for wanting to make your life better. You are strong for being willing to explore healthy ways to deal with life – these skills are not just good for now, but throughout your future life.
The hardest part is getting started and being willing to try something new. Pushing past our comfort zone is where the best part of life awaits us!